Sermon Text

 [Title Slide] This morning we continue our series, “Growing in Grace”, where we are working our way verse by verse through the letter of 1 Corinthians, seeking to be shaped by the truths of the Gospel so that we are more like Jesus. One of the things that I hope you are noticing as we work our way through this book is how ordinary the issues are that Paul deals with. I think we often think of spiritual things as somehow separate from our everyday lives as though it is through extraordinary events that we are transformed into the image of Christ.

Sometimes we think missions’ trips are spiritual and leading prayer groups is spiritual but having dinner with our spouse or talking to our neighbor isn’t. We fall into the trap of thinking that God works primarily through the extraordinary but the reality is that most people are called to glorify God in the ordinary patterns of our daily lives.

It is good to hear sermon illustrations about martyrs and missionaries, but it is important that we also hear about faithful factory workers and food service workers. God doesn’t evacuate most of us from regular life. Instead, he transforms the significance of every aspect of our lives. Everyday experiences become opportunities to express worship and glorify Him. We are going to see that again in our passage this morning. Paul is going to share gospel principals for marriage and his main point is that the relationship commitments of believers should flow from our relationship with God.

We will pick up at 1 Corinthians 7:1. If you are using the blue Bible we provide, it is on page 1192. If you do not own a Bible or have need of one, please consider this one our gift to you. You may take it with you when you leave. Paul says,

7 Now concerning the matters about which you wrote: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.” ² But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband.

You may recall from way back when we started the series that in this letter Paul is addressing verbal reports he heard about what was going on as well as responding a letter they had written to him asking several questions. Everything we have covered so far in the series has been concerning the verbal reports. As we being chapter 7, however,  Paul will begin to answer the questions they had sent to him. He introduces this section by saying “Now concerning the matters about which you wrote…” and as we work through the rest of the letter, he will introduce his answer to each of their questions with this formula “Now concerning…”.

So, reading 1 Corinthians is a bit like listening to one side of a telephone conversation. We can hear Paul’s side of the conversation and we must do a bit of thinking to piece together the other side. That makes it sometimes hard to fully reconstruct the context which makes some sections difficult to interpret. Today’s passage is one of those so please forgive me if we get a bit more technical for a moment, but it is important to me whenever I am preaching that you can follow the connection from the text to the point I am making. You may not always agree with me, but one of my goals is always that if you were to sit down in a few days with nothing but your Bible, you could connect the dots between the text and the sermon.  

Some interpreters think this first sentence “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.” is the beginning of Paul’s teaching. They understand Paul to be teaching that celibacy is the best option. The idea is that the best thing is for people to remain celibate, but if they cannot do that then getting married is a better than struggling with temptation. They point out that Paul plainly says a bit later that it is his wish that single people remained single as he was, but I don’t think that is the correct interpretation.

Other scholars argue that Paul begins with a quotation from the letter he was sent and that this is like how he handled the slogans in the previous chapter. For several reasons I think that is right and you will notice the ESV agrees and puts the first sentence in quotation marks. So, Paul is saying, ok let me respond to what you wrote to me asking if it is good for a man not to touch a woman. That leaves us with two options on how to understand the sentence and what follows.

First, it could be that there were some in Corinth who thought it was better to refrain from sexual activity altogether. That those who remained celibate were morally superior to those who were married. Remember, it was common in ancient Greece for people to think of the body as being less spiritual than the mind. We saw last week that some Corinthians thought the body didn’t matter so they could do whatever they wanted with them. Possibly there were others who followed the logic to the other extreme arguing that the body wasn’t important so its impulses should be denied.

The literal sense of the statement is that “it is better for any man not to touch any woman” and so it is possible that Paul is responding to some who thought celibacy was more honorable than marriage.  Maybe, but I think there is a more likely understanding that makes better sense of the passage.

The euphemism, “to touch a woman” used in this sentence, which the ESV translates as to “have sexual relations”, is frequently used in Greek literature for a man acting on sexual passions solely for the sake of sexual gratification.

It isn’t often a term used for sex generally. It is used in contexts where a man sexually uses a slave, a prostitute, a child, or a woman with lower social status who has nobody to protect her honor. We must keep in  mind that in Greco-Roman culture the purpose of marriage was not primarily romantic and physical, it was about social status and property.

Marriages were about producing heirs and protecting privileges and property for the family. It was broadly understood, with few exceptions, that men were expected to restrict their sexual relationships with their wives primarily to the purpose of procreation and to satisfy their sexual desires outside of the marriage. It was not assumed that husbands and wives loved or were even attracted to each other, and to use a spouse for physical gratification was dishonorable. That is what slaves and prostitutes were for.

We have another clue that this is Paul’s meaning although most translations obscure it. The word translated as “immorality” in verse 2 is plural in the Greek. The NASB does a better job and translates it “But because of immoralities, each man is to have his own wife, and each woman is to have her own husband.” This is helpful because it connects this to the previous discussions in chapter 5 and 6 that deal with exactly those other outlets such as prostitution that are commonly associated with this phrase.

Remember, Paul had written them to avoid sexually immoral people. Some Greek philosophers, like Plato, taught that it was better for people to control themselves rather than use these other means for gratification. The idea was that by disciplining the mind the body could be brought under control and this kind of denial was an element of living a virtuous life.

The Corinthians received Paul’s warning about immorality and followed up asking for clarity. Was he saying that it was better, as some philosophers said, to avoid using women as a sexual outlet? Paul says yes, but then clarifies that his teaching is not the same as that of the philosophers. The solution to the problem of sexual temptation isn’t education and self-discipline, it is a Biblical view of marriage. For those who struggle with such things the answer is for husbands and wives to find satisfaction with each other.

Paul’s shares the bible’s high view of marriage as we can see from his teaching in Ephesians where he says it is an illustration of the relationship between Jesus and the church. God invented marriage and is the one who said that it is not good for man to be alone. Jesus affirmed the goodness of marriage. As a rabbi, Paul would certainly have agreed with Proverbs 18:22 that “He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the LORD.”

When we keep the context in mind, we can see that Paul is not saying anything negative about marriage. Rather, he wants the church to see marriage as something more than just a social or economic arrangement and as connected to our call to holiness. He is expanding their Roman understanding of marriage into a biblical understanding.

Notice he deals with men and women equally and instructs both to be committed to their own spouse. Each is to have the other, ruling out multiple wives, multiple husbands, and anything else outside of how God intended in the beginning with Adam and Eve. They are made caretakers of one another physically as well as spiritually because they are to help each other avoid temptation resulting from passion. The power dynamics of Roman culture are replaced with a call to submit to each other.

He continues in verse 3,

 ³ The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. ⁴ For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. ⁵ Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.

Paul is very practical in helping the church understand how intimacy in marriage is a gift of grace. Sex is not simply about procreation, it is about pleasing one another and protecting one another. Married couples are not to deprive each other but are to submit to each other. If we are married, our bodies belong to our spouse. Together we are one flesh. She owns him as much as he owns her.

Everything is done by agreement. There is no forcing or depriving. The physical and spiritual are in harmony, and all of this is dovetailed with prayer and the helping of each other avoid temptation. Married couples are supposed to protect each other physically and spiritually. Paul says, if you are married, take good care of each other.

He acknowledges, however, that there are advantages to remaining unmarried. He continues in verse 6,

⁶ Now as a concession, not a command, I say this. ⁷ I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another. ⁸ To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single, as I am. ⁹ But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

There is no command to remain single, but Paul says he wishes that all were like him, meaning that they can devote themselves to Christ because they can control themselves. Nevertheless, he says each one has his own gift. Both marriage and singleness are gifts from God.

We should not make single people feel pressure to get married if they are able to glorify God apart from it. Paul says it would be better for those who are single to remain that way if possible. Elsewhere he tells us this is because single people have fewer distractions in serving Christ. But he says, if you are not called to that then go ahead and get married.

You see, Paul understands human nature much better than the philosophers. Every person is born with a sinful nature. We all have a corrupt heart and are unholy. We all know that to be true. We all recognize at some point that we are not perfectly righteous. Our own consciences accuse us.

The answer the world gives to the problem is to just try harder. That is what the philosophers were saying. Study and train your mind so you can try harder. That is the answer religious systems give, just try harder. Make these changes in your life and you will be better.

Paul says it isn’t our external circumstances that make us righteous or unrighteous. It isn’t better to be single or married as if our relationship status will confer some merit to us. Righteousness doesn’t come from those kinds of circumstances. It doesn’t come from showing up to church, or getting married, or doing any kind of good things. It only comes from a heart transformed by Jesus Christ and when we receive that gift through faith, we can glorify God whether we are single or married.

Righteousness could not come from us because our hearts were dead in sin, but God sent His Son Jesus into the world to live a perfect life and to die a perfect death. He was perfectly faithful and loving in every detail. He never sinned. He then took upon himself the sins of all who would believe in Him as a substitute and paid that penalty in our place. He was crucified on a cross and died.

Three days later He rose from the dead proving that He had conquered sin and death. So that everyone who puts their trust in Him rather than trusting in themselves can receive eternal life. That life begins the minute we trust in Him. Through faith, we receive that transformed heart and that unshakeable promise. Changing our external circumstances cannot transform our heart, but a changed heart will transform both to the glory of God.

Paul continues in verse 10 to apply these Gospel truths to how we should understand the practical issues that arise within marriage relationships.

¹⁰ To the married I give this charge (not I, but the Lord): the wife should not separate from her husband ¹¹ (but if she does, she should remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband), and the husband should not divorce his wife.

Differences are inevitable within any marriage relationship and Paul begins with the principal that marriage is designed to be a permanent institution. He is applying what Jesus taught in Mark 10:6–9

⁶ But from the beginning of creation, ‘God made them male and female.’ ⁷ ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, ⁸ and the two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two but one flesh. ⁹ What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”

Anytime a marriage fails it is a tragedy. We as a church should feel a special responsibility to help married couples. In a time when so many are not exposed to models of healthy commitment this is more important than ever. Especially the older men and women who have been married a long time have much to offer the younger folks. We want to be a church that honors marriage.

There are, however, times where it becomes impossible for reconciliation. Even Jesus says there are certain types of unfaithfulness such as sexual immorality that are so damaging to a marriage that the relationship may be broken. Even here Paul acknowledges that separations may occur. The point is that divorce arises ultimately from sin on the part of one or both people, so it is something that is not part of God’s design and should be avoided.

The Corinthians were apparently trying to understand how to apply the teaching of Jesus in circumstances that were a bit different than what Jesus was addressing when He initially gave His teaching. Beginning in verse 12 Paul helps them to apply the teaching in these areas.

¹² To the rest I say (I, not the Lord) that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he should not divorce her. ¹³ If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him.

When Paul says this is from him and not the Lord, he does not mean that his words are any less authoritative. Paul is speaking under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit and his words here are God’s words. His point is that if you go look through the Gospels you won’t find this application in the teaching Jesus gave. This is new revelation that Paul is giving to them.

He says that a believer who is married to an unbeliever should not pursue a divorce so long as the unbeliever wishes to stay in the relationship. Elsewhere believers are commanded not to marry unbelievers and it seems that some in Corinth were concerned about somehow being defiled by remaining in mixed relationships. Look at verse 14,

 ¹⁴ For the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy because of her husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.

Paul says there is no need to worry about a believer being defiled by this. It is actually the other way around. The unbelieving spouse and the children are made holy through the influence of the believer.

It’s a bit like a bar of soap. When I was a kid, I would always wonder why the soap didn’t get dirty. Everyday that bar of soap was rubbed against filth and yet the scum simply rinsed right off of it and it was ready to clean the next person. We had to change washcloths and towels and regularly clean the shower, but that soap would stay clean until it disappeared. In a similar way, the unbelieving spouse or children does not defile the believer.

It is important to recognize that Paul isn’t talking about salvation. What he is saying is that the unbelievers benefits from the work of the Holy Spirit in the life of the believers around them. This should be an encouragement to those whose spouses have not converted yet. You can continue to live in peace and pray for them and love them. Sometimes, however, the unbelieving spouse doesn’t want to stay. Paul deals with that next,

 ¹⁵ But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you to peace.

When a person comes to faith in Christ they are transformed. They really become a whole new person. Over time the things that used to interest them change and the people they enjoy being around change. That can be very hard for someone who was attracted to the person they were. It is very difficult to grow closer if you are operating with two entirely different worldviews and value systems.

So what does Paul say? He says, let them go. If an unbelieving spouse does not wish to remain in the relationship, let them go. The believer is not enslaved, meaning they are not bound to remain in that relationship of the other person wants to leave. If a believer tries to love their unbelieving spouse but they choose to leave, Paul says God has called you to peace.

That may be a difficult and emotional experience, but it is not a sin to let them go. The Bible says God hates divorce and so we rightfully want to protect marriages, but we must be careful not to become pharisees that add our own traditions that go beyond what God’s word says.

I have met people who have been advised by their church to do everything possible to remain in these kinds of relationships as some sort of evangelistic outreach. They were told that it might be through them that God would save their unbelieving husband or wife. The Bible does not call us to do that. That advice actually contradicts what the Bible teaches. If the unbeliever wants to go, let them go.  Look at verse 16,

¹⁶ For how do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?

Immediately after saying one is free and at peace with God if they let the unbeliever go Paul says, you don’t know whether you would save your spouse or not. Verse 16 is not an instruction to hang in there. It is an offer of peace. God is sovereign, we are not. If the unbeliever desires to stay then wonderful, you will be a blessing to them. If they want to go because of your faith, then let them go. You don’t need to worry about the “what-if’s”

As we reflect on this entire section what we see is that God has a very loving and practical purpose for all our relationships. The issue isn’t whether we are married or single. The issue is that our primary relationship as believers is our relationship with Jesus Christ. If we are single, then our relationship with Christ will express itself in our singleness. If we are married, then our relationship with Christ will express itself through our marriage.

We do not need to feel any social pressure to conform to some ideal standard. It is not holier to be a monk or a nun than it is to be a good wife or husband. Those who are single or widows do not lack anything in their relationship with God because they are not married.

Whatever will allow us to pursue our devotion to God with holiness is what we should be concerned about. Remember our main point? The relationship commitments of believers should flow from our relationship with God.

We have each been uniquely created and uniquely gifted to glorify God. We don’t need to try to comply with some external measure of religious discipline. Ultimately, Paul’s teaching in this section points us to Jesus Christ. Jesus was in this world but not of it. He was more present in the experiences of each day than any of us. He did not despise physical realities, He enjoyed them as gifts from our Heavenly Father. He lived so that every moment was an opportunity for glorifying God. What is most important about us is not our relationship status. What is most important about us is that we belong to Christ. I pray that the Lord would strengthen each of us to live that way.

Amen.