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Honor Your Parents

March 19, 2023 Preacher: Kevin Godin Series: The Ten Commandments

Topic: Honoring Authority Scripture: Exodus 20:12

Sermon Text:

When asked to summarize the law of God, Jesus said that all of the commands of the law and the prophets boiled down to two things. The first is to love God with all our heart and soul and mind and the second is to love our neighbor as ourselves. This is a summary of the 10 commandments. The first 4 of the 10 commandments have to do primarily with our love for God. The last 6 commandments have to do primarily with our love for others. Of course, the two things are inseparably linked together. 

 

Over the past several weeks, we have looked at those first 4 commandments having to do with our love and worship of God. This morning, we continue by shifting our focus to the fifth commandment, which kicks off the second group emphasizing our love for each other. I don’t think it is a coincidence that the first one on the list of the section related to others is a command to honor our mother and father because that relationship is the fountainhead of every other relationship we will have in our lives.

 

The main idea this morning is: Honoring our parents flows from honoring God and overflows into our honor and respect for others.

 

All of the following commandments dealing with issues such as respecting others' property, avoiding murder, theft, adultery, and false witness ultimately depend on a basic respect for authority and a recognition of the value of other people's lives and property. These values come from God and are passed down through parents or those functioning as parents. Therefore, our relationship with God and others is shaped by our relationship with our parents.

 

Exodus 20:12 says,

12 “Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you.  

 

There seems to be a lot of confusion these days about what honor means. When many people hear this command they think of obedience, of children doing what they are told. It is true that part of what is entailed here is for younger children to obey their parents. In fact, the Bible has a lot to say about this and if you want an interesting study it is worth taking a look at it. I suspect the importance the Bible places on obedience to parents would probably be shocking to most people. Parental disobedience has the same punishment under the law as blasphemy. God takes it seriously.

 

So yes, obedience is part of it. But I think it is important to point out that this commandment was addressed to adults. While it certainly includes obedience, honor is a bigger category than obedience. Fully grown and independent adults are not required to obey their parents in everything as if they were children, but they are called to continue to honor them in everything. 

 

The Bible says what that means is that we pray for them, we listen to their wisdom, we respect them, and represent them well. Most of all, however, it means we care for their needs. 1 Timothy 5:3-4 says,

 

3 Honor widows who are truly widows. 4 But if a widow has children or grandchildren, let them first learn to show godliness to their own household and to make some return to their parents, for this is pleasing in the sight of God.  

 

Then verse 8 says,

 

8 But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.  

 

We have an obligation to take care of our aging parents and grandparents. There may be many reasons why sometimes the best decision is to place them in the care of others, but our own convenience is not one of them. Our culture increasingly pursues glorification of youth and leisure and often older people are being pushed aside and basically warehoused until they die. 

 

Jesus rebuked the Pharisees in Matthew 15:3–6 for looking out for their own interests rather than honoring their parents by taking care of them.

3 He answered them, “And why do you break the commandment of God for the sake of your tradition? 4 For God commanded, ‘Honor your father and your mother,’ and, ‘Whoever reviles father or mother must surely die.’ 5 But you say, ‘If anyone tells his father or his mother, “What you would have gained from me is given to God,” 6 he need not honor his father.’ So for the sake of your tradition you have made void the word of God.

 

One of the practical ways believers have to give testimony to the gospel is in how we care for our elderly. Following God’s word in this will certainly result in a contrast with the world.

 

Our parents and grandparents cared for us when we were helpless and vulnerable and we are to do the same for them. We are to put the interests of our parents, or anyone fulfilling the role of parents, ahead of our own. Not out of obligation like the Pharisees, looking for loopholes so they could do the minimum to fulfill their duty but out of love and gratitude for God because parents are a blessing from him.

 

That brings us to the second part of this commandment which is the promise.

 

12 “Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you.  

 

This is a covenant promise, not a universal guarantee. It is not a mechanical process but it is a general truth. This is the first place we see it, but the promise of long life to those who keep the law is found frequently in the Bible. It typically shows up in ways similar to Proverbs 3:1-2,

 

My son, do not forget my teaching, but let your heart keep my commandments, for length of days and years of life and peace they will add to you.

 

The idea is one of a general truth rather than an individual promise. Godly wisdom generally leads to a long and peaceful life. Following God’s laws helps us to avoid many pains and dangers that are likely to cut our life short. Drunk, thieving, promiscuous, gluttonous, rebellious, angry, and violent men and women usually do have shorter and harder lives. And generally speaking, people who honor their parents and take their advice do not pursue those kinds of lifestyles. 

 

But sometimes people’s lives are cut short and it isn’t the result of failing to honor their parents. Does that mean God’s promise has failed? No, because ultimately this promise is fulfilled for the faithful in the Kingdom of God. There are both temporal and eternal blessings for those who love God.

 

But we have a very serious problem because none of us can claim these promises on the basis of our own performance. We have not honored our parents as we should. This is now the 5th law in a row that condemns us. We are all guilty before this standard. 

 

I doubt any of us have even kept the letter of this law but remember, Jesus taught us that we are just as guilty of disobedience if we fail to keep not only the letter but the spirit. No lawyer is going to get us into heaven on a technicality and in our own works we fall far short.

 

This law, in spirit, calls us to honor not only parents, but to all who hold positions of authority. The famous Westminster Shorter Catechism says it this way,

 

“By father and mother, in the fifth commandment, are meant, not only natural parents, but all superiors in age and gifts; and especially such as, by God’s ordinance, are over us in place of authority, whether in family, church, or commonwealth.”

 

The family is the most basic institution in society. Parents have a special role in the chain of authority that runs from God to every other institution. Every legitimate authority represents God but our parents do so uniquely. God works through them to create us, to sustain us, to comfort us, to discipline us, and to love us. 

 

There is no other person or institution in the world that more clearly represents God than our parents. I think one of the reasons God is pleased to be called Father is because a good father combines selfless love, comforting strength, and power and authority in a single relationship. There is no better illustration of who God is than godly parents. Our mother and father are the primary governing authorities God establishes in our lives and all other authorities derive from that basic family unit. 

 

To disrespect or dishonor any legitimate authority whatsoever dishonors our parents because they have been commissioned by God to raise and instruct us to be mature and disciplined. Therefore, when we are rebellious against any legitimate authority we bring dishonor to our parents. When we are acting out like fools, it reflects upon them. 

 

Our lack of discipline, indignity, and foolishness dishonors our parents by bringing them worry and concern and further dishonors them by bringing shame and reproach upon them. Both Testaments teach that the honor and respect that begins in the home be applied broadly. Romans 13:1 says,

 

Let every person be subject to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and those that exist have been instituted by God.  

 

There is a reason why the enemy tirelessly works toward the destruction of the family and the undermining of the honor, respect, and authority of parents. The idea of a traditional family structure is considered by many outdated or even dangerous but God calls us to discipline and train our children. We are bombarded with messages and entertainment that chip away at the dignity of parents. 

 

Sadly, many today think they are being liberated by the dismantling of these God-ordained structures. What they do not realize is that as they disregard God’s wisdom they are knocking down load bearing walls and eventually the whole building is going to come down on their heads. It is easy for us to point to these bold examples in an attempt to make ourselves look better, but who among us can claim we have honored all those to whom honor is due? Parents, teachers, bosses, pastors, government officials, etc.? I am confident none of us even got past our parents, let alone every other authority. 

 

Have you ever seen the news when they arrest someone they really wanted to get and report they are facing like 42 counts or whatever? I mean, you know that guy is not getting out. Who can beat the state on 42 charges? 

 

Well, friends, our violations are like the sand of the sea and we face a judge who knows every detail and will render a just judgment. The law has boxed us in and we have no defense because we are guilty. We have rebelled not only against his authority, but every authority down the line. If we are judged based on what we deserve we will go to hell because we are as guilty as anyone else who will be in hell.

 

But in an incredible act of grace and love God did something amazing. He sent his son Jesus who took a nature like ours and lived a perfect life under the law. He honored God and honored his earthly parents and every other authority perfectly. Then, although with no sin of his own, he died for sins. He was tortured and crucified, nailed to a Roman cross to satisfy God’s wrath as a substitute for all those who will ever put their faith in him. Then 3 days later, he rose again, proving the payment was made in full.

 

On that basis, God extends an amazing offer. If we admit we are guilty and throw ourselves on the mercy of the court, he will forgive us. Jesus satisfied the penalty of the law and purchased with his blood the repentance of all who will come, humble themselves, and trust in him as their righteousness before God. He came to save sinners, if you know that you are one, come to him. He will not cast out any who come in faith.

 

Through faith in Jesus, believers are united to him. In him we have died to the law and have been resurrected to a new life by the power of God. So now, we receive this law not from the hand of Moses, but from the hand of Christ. This liberation allows us to joyfully and gratefully pursue the law by faith, which enhances the moral law's beauty as a guideline for life through the grace of the gospel. 

 

Prior to 2009 the General Motors employee dress code was 10 pages long. It included detailed descriptions of what kinds of clothing could be worn at work across a company that included a massive variety of jobs. Managers and HR people had to interpret, explain, and apply all these rules for 164,000 employees all around the world. In 2009 Mary Barra, who is now the CEO of GM, was put in charge of Human Resources and reduced this 10 page policy down to two words. The new policy simply said, “dress appropriately”. 

 

In the same way the employees at GM are free to fulfill the standards of professional attire by principle rather than law, in Christ we are free to pursue our love for God and others the same way. 

 

Romans 8:28-29 tells us believers are being conformed to the image of Jesus Christ. By the power of God, we are being made like Jesus. Jesus kept the moral law, not out of duty, but out of love for God which overflowed into his love for others. As theologian Sinclair Ferguson said, 

 

“It was not legalism for Jesus to do everything his father commanded him. Nor is it for us.” 

 

So the moral law is not removed, but our relationship with it changes when we trust in Jesus as our savior. We now pursue works of love because of the work of God in us. Ephesians 2:10 says of believers,

10 For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.  

 

Throughout the New Testament, the principles embedded in the fifth commandment are applied to the church. Not as a way to gain a relationship with God, but as a way to express the relationship we already have. Consider the following examples:

 

20 Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.  (Colossians 3:20)

 

22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.  (Ephesians 5:22)

 

22 servants, obey in everything those who are your earthly masters…with sincerity of heart, fearing the Lord. (Colossians 3:22)

 

Speaking of pastors… 17 Obey your leaders and submit to them, for they are keeping watch over your souls, as those who will have to give an account… (Hebrews 13:17) 

 

7 Pay to all what is owed to them: taxes to whom taxes are owed, revenue to whom revenue is owed, respect to whom respect is owed, honor to whom honor is owed.  (Romans 13:7)

 

The motivation for all these things is the new life the believer has in Christ. The new relationship we have with God because of Jesus. These things should characterize our lives because it is no longer we who live, but Christ in us. What do we see regarding the 5th commandment when we look at Jesus?

 

When Jesus was 12 years old he went up to the temple where he was listening to the teachers and asking them questions. Mary and Joseph thought he was with other family members and mistakenly left him behind. They had traveled an entire day before realizing it and had to turn back to search for him. When they found him they were not pleased. Luke 2:48 says,

 

48 And when his parents saw him, they were astonished. And his mother said to him, “Son, why have you treated us so? Behold, your father and I have been searching for you in great distress.”  

 

Remember, Joseph raised Jesus as his own son but Joseph was his stepfather. When they found him Jesus was in the temple already doing the work of his Heavenly Father. But Jesus actually leaves his godly work in the temple to obey his earthly parents. Luke 2:51 says,

 

51 And he went down with them and came to Nazareth and was submissive to them. And his mother treasured up all these things in her heart.  

 

Jesus performed his first miracle at the wedding in Cana not because of a ministry need, but because his mother asked for his help. In fact, he tells her the issue doesn’t concern him and says “my hour has not yet come” but he honors her wish and turns vats of water into wine.

 

Even in the midst of his suffering as he was bearing the sin of the world, he honored his parents. As he was dying he was faithful to his responsibilities as the eldest son by making sure his mother was cared for. In John 19:27 Jesus says to the apostle John,

 

27 … “Behold, your mother!” And from that hour the disciple took her to his own home.  

Jesus is a perfect example of what it looks like to give honor where it is due. 

 

All of this raises an important question though because not all parents or authorities fulfill their God-given responsibilities. What do we do about those who do not live up to the dignity of the positions they have been given? What about those who are opposed to godliness?

This is where the rubber meets the road because even those who have not earned honor deserve it because our honoring them flows from our desire to honor God and ultimately, it is God who has established these authorities. 

 

Although the scribes and pharisees were hypocrites, in Matthew 23:2-3 Jesus tells the people to respect them because of their position,

2 “The scribes and the Pharisees sit on Moses’ seat, 3 so do and observe whatever they tell you, but not the works they do. For they preach, but do not practice.

1 Peter 2:17 says,

 

17 Honor everyone. Love the brotherhood. Fear God. Honor the emperor.  

 

Keep in mind, the emperor he is talking about was a pagan and claimed himself to be a god.

 

Then in 1 Peter 3:1-2 he tells wives to respect their husbands even when they are not following God’s word,

 

Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, 2 when they see your respectful and pure conduct.  

 

We do not only owe honor to those who agree with our views or even who support us. Radically, Christ calls us often to honor even to those who oppose us. I tell you there are times when I tremble hearing the way some of us talk about our leaders and read the things some of you all put on social media. 

 

I understand that there are many today in positions of power who are opposed to godly principles and who may even be hostile to the faith. It has always been that way in this fallen world. We have been blessed to have lived in a place where that was less open for many years and that is changing but it does not change what God has called us to do. 

 

In Acts 23 the apostle Paul gives us an example of godly submission in the face of hostility. Beginning with verse 1,

And looking intently at the council, Paul said, “Brothers, I have lived my life before God in all good conscience up to this day.” 2 And the high priest Ananias commanded those who stood by him to strike him on the mouth. 

Paul is giving testimony and the priest orders him to be punched in the mouth. Paul responds with a rebuke.

 

3 Then Paul said to him, “God is going to strike you, you whitewashed wall! Are you sitting to judge me according to the law, and yet contrary to the law you order me to be struck?”

 

If this were on youtube or facebook the link would probably say something like Paul destroys high priest, or Paul owns Ananias in epic takedown or something like that and it would probably have thousands of Christian likes and thumbs ups. But listen to what happens next.

 

4 Those who stood by said, “Would you revile God’s high priest?” 5 And Paul said, “I did not know, brothers, that he was the high priest, for it is written, ‘You shall not speak evil of a ruler of your people.’ ”

 

Paul is undergoing persecution. He is being illegally abused and falsely accused by an enemy of the faith but when he learns that Ananias is the high priest he apologizes. This is not a natural reaction. This is a man who is trusting God.

 

Brothers and sisters I want you to know that the gospel enables us to live in the spirit of the fifth commandment as Paul did. When we come to understand that our salvation has already been secured by the sacrifice of Jesus in our place. 

 

When we come to rest in the knowledge that we have an inheritance in heaven, held firm by the power of almighty God whose promises never fail. When we realize that we can trust God and delight in doing good, even if we suffer for a short time, because he is with us. When we get that, nothing in this world will keep us from serving him.

 

The key to obedience is not to try harder, the key is to find our satisfaction in Christ. Meditate upon his promises. Understand the great love and grace and mercy God has shown to us in the cross. Rest in the truth that nothing can pluck us from his hand and that we have every spiritual blessing because of Jesus and then we will be able to count it all joy even when we encounter difficulties and trials.

 

We know something the world doesn’t know. We know how the story ends. That should give us peace, patience, and humility because we trust God. When we are satisfied in Jesus we will be content to wait upon him. We know there is a day coming when he returns in glory and all things will be put in order. 

 

Earthly authorities, including our parents, are not perfect, but our heavenly Father is and he has promised that those who trust in him will not be disappointed. Therefore, we honor him when we honor those he has placed over us. In fact, we honor him most when we remain obedient even though they fall short.

 

Remember our main point? Honoring our parents flows from honoring God and overflows into our honor and respect for others.

 

I would like to finish with an exhortation from 1 Peter 3:15-16 which says,

15 … in your hearts honor Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and respect, 16 having a good conscience, so that, when you are slandered, those who revile your good behavior in Christ may be put to shame.  

Friends, God has given us amazing blessings in Jesus Christ. Let us seek every means to fill our hearts with Christ so that our love for him overflows in honor. Let’s seek that in prayer, in the word, in our fellowship with each other, and in our worship together. If Christ is honored in our hearts he will be honored in our actions.

 

That my friends will stand out in this world of rebellion and disrespect. This verse in 1 Peter is often used in connection with apologetics, or defending the faith. It is usually connected with philosophical or logical arguments but when we look carefully what we see is something else. When we honor Jesus in our heart, it becomes obvious to others and when they ask why we have peace and hope that the world lacks, we should be prepared to share the answer.

 

That just means we are prepared to share with them what it is in our heart that produced the hope. It means we should be ready to share Christ and Peter says even in that we should do it with gentleness and respect, having a good conscience. That is my prayer for each of you as you leave here this morning.

 

Amen.

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April 30, 2023

You Shall Not Bear False Witness.

April 23, 2023

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