Sermon Text:

This morning we continue our series on the 10 commandments. I pray with each of these messages we are being led into a growing appreciation of the richness of God’s grace. Most of us tend to think of ourselves as pretty good. We silently compare ourselves to other sinners and fool ourselves into thinking there is some goodness in us that deserves God’s favor. But our sin has clouded our judgment because the standard of goodness is not other sinners. 

We cannot get a true reading of how crooked something is by using a measuring stick that itself is crooked. The standard we are measured against is the perfect law of God. When we look at the law, we don’t see righteousness in us, instead we see how much grace and mercy is in Christ. As believers, our response should be a life of gratitude and thanksgiving. It should also bring us peace and joy because we are reminded that our salvation rests in his grace and not our perfection.

These past weeks we have been reminded again and again of this grace. 

1. At times we have loved other things ahead of him and given them the affection only he deserves, yet his love for us never wavers.
2. We have often distorted the truth about him and settled for far less than his true glory in our worship, yet he chooses to glorify himself through us.
3. We have not honored his name in our thoughts, words, and actions, but he has placed his holy word in our hearts and mouths.
4. We have failed to find rest and joy in him, but he is patient with us.
5. We have rejected his authority and failed to honor those he has placed over us, yet he sent the most high king to die in our place.
6. We have neglected to honor and value life created in his image, but he causes us to be born again and is preparing us to participate in the glory to come.

Now we come to a seventh law, Exodus 20:14,

14 “You shall not commit adultery.  

Here is another reminder that we are not good and do not deserve the great blessings God promises to those who are righteous. In fact, it is an understatement to say we are undeserving of salvation. Our problem is not that we do not deserve God’s favor, it is that we deserve the opposite. 

This command is yet another sign post, pointing us to our need for a savior. That is the bad news. The good news is that in Jesus, God has provided a perfect savior. He has provided the perfect righteousness needed to enjoy eternity in his presence and offers it as a gift to any who will believe. I pray that this series is helping us to see even more clearly how amazing grace is so that all praise, honor, and glory are given to God who alone deserves it.

The main point of the message today is, our faithfulness is perfected in Christ. 

This command against adultery concerns not only an act, but an institution and an attitude, or disposition of the heart. Adultery is the act of a married person engaging in sexual activity with someone who is not their spouse. Marriage is designed to be an intimate, life-long, exclusive commitment of monogamous partnership. 

Husband and wife have exclusive claim upon the physical and emotional intimacy of the other. 1 Corinthians 7:3–4 says,

3 The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4 For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.  

The husband and wife belong to one another and are responsible for satisfying one another within the bonds of marriage. They are to complement each other and enjoy God’s gifts of sexual fulfillment. This is partly connected in scripture to the bearing and raising of children, but not exclusively. Husbands and wives are bound together and are to enjoy each other fully and completely.

To seek that satisfaction outside of the marriage is a grievous offense because it is giving to others what has been committed to your spouse before God. Sex is like fire. Our lives are enriched by the fire in the stove, furnace and fireplace, but if the fire escapes its proper place, it is uncontrolled, dangerous and devastating. No rational person sets their own home on fire, but that is in essence what the adulterer does.

In the case of believers, it is even more irrational because our bodies have been bound not only to our spouse, but to the Lord as well. Therefore, to commit adultery is to sin against God, our spouse, and our own body which belongs to Jesus. In 1 Corinthians 6:17-20 Paul is talking specifically about using prostitutes, but the principal applies to all sexual immorality. He says,

17 But he who is joined to the Lord becomes one spirit with him. 18 Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. 19 Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, 20 for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.  

I often hear people talking about how Jesus saved their soul, but friends Jesus is not a partial savior. As he bled and died on that tree he was not only purchasing your soul, he was redeeming you as a whole person. 

Believers are blood bought body and soul. The reason Jesus came is not to just forgive us and bring our souls to God. Jesus came to redeem. He came to present us as entire humans holy before God. He transforms all those he forgives and when he comes, we will be glorified and perfected in body and soul. What we do in the body matters because Jesus died to redeem our bodies as well as our souls.

God therefore designed marriage as a way for there to be a holy and pure way for those not blessed with the gift of singleness to honor him. That brings us from the act to the institution because a command against adultery is a command to honor the institution of marriage. 

God instituted marriage in paradise when he brought Adam and Eve together. In Genesis 2:22 he brings the man and woman together and then in verse 24 God uses the language of husband and wife. Jesus Christ confirmed the honor of marriage in John 2:2 by attending the wedding in Cana and blessing it by performing his first miracle there, turning water into wine.

And marriage is much deeper than just the regulation of human relationships. God designed marriage as a picture of the mystical union between Jesus and the church. The purpose of marriage is to display the glory of the gospel. In Ephesians chapter 5 the apostle Paul is talking about marriage and he talks about the husband and wife becoming one. That is itself an amazing truth, but then in verses 32 and 33, he says something even more astounding. He says, 

32 This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. 33 However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.  

Marriage is a special calling by God and is a holy institution. It is a ministry. It is designed to display the glory of the gospel in the most intimate way. In fact, throughout the scripture God often uses the imagery of marriage and adultery to represent his relationship with his people. Israel and the church are referred to this way and the spiritual unfaithfulness of people in both testaments is called adulterous.

Marriage is the display of the union of God with his people. God is jealous of the love of his people and the intimacy of marriage reflects the intimacy of his commitment to us. Since God is glorified in marriage, it is to be honored.  Hebrews 13:4 says,

4 Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.  

Marriage is not an agreement we enter or exit for our own convenience. It is designed to show the unending love of God for his people. Marriage is the gospel made visible, and adultery destroys that image and testimony. It is unthinkable that the bonds of love between Jesus and his bride could be severed. 

Romans 8:29–30 says,

29 For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. 30 And those whom he predestined he also called, and those whom he called he also justified, and those whom he justified he also glorified.  

Paul concludes this thought in verse 38-39 saying,

38 …neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, 39 nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.  

Jesus says in John 6:39

39 And this is the will of him who sent me, that I should lose nothing of all that he has given me, but raise it up on the last day.

So marriage is designed to be an illustration of the relationship between Jesus and the church. It is a loving, committed, sacrificial relationship. The act of adultery so desecrates that picture and so devastates the victim that it is one of the few acts that can legitimately end a marriage in the sight of God.

It might be tempting for those who have never committed adultery or perhaps are not married to think they are justified before this command. Before you get too comfortable though, we should remember that Jesus teaches that righteousness before the law requires not only that we keep the law in our works, but also in our hearts. 

That brings us to the attitude, or disposition of our heart. Here we find that this law, like the others, casts a net from which no sinner can escape. Listen to what Jesus says in Matthew 5:27-28,

27 “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ 28 But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

Do you see the word “already”? Like all sin, adultery begins in the heart long before it is expressed through our bodies. Jesus is telling us here that just because some have been able to control our bodies more than others, does not mean that we have pure hearts. The act of adultery is the mature fruit of the same seed already present in the lustful glance. 

It is certainly better to not act on sinful impulses than to follow through, but both the act and the impulse demonstrate the depravity of the heart. Matthew 15:19 says,

19 For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false witness, slander. 

Are there any here who can say before God they have hearts so pure that they have never had a lustful thought? If so, then we have hearts that need Christ.

It is foolish to assume that a heart which is able to be tempted this way could control such temptations so as to never act on them. Many have fallen because they thought they couldn’t and were reckless. Proverbs 4:23 says we must guard our heart because everything we do flows from it. 

James 1:14–15 says,

14 But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. 15 Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death.  

This is a life and death issue and we must be careful that we do not allow pride to fool us into thinking we can ignore it. Think about how often the devil uses sexual sin to bring disrepute to the testimony of the gospel. Are we stronger in our faith than King David? Are we wiser than Solomon? 

That we have all failed to keep this law in spirit shows us our need. This is true of all the commands but adultery of the heart poses a particular challenge for many people. For some it is purely sexual temptation, for others it is a lusting after attention and intimacy that opens the door to thoughts of unfaithfulness. 

The world is certainly not going to help us in this. We are constantly immersed in sexual stimulation. Today’s advertisements would have been considered pornography several decades ago. It would be inappropriate for me to even read in here the lyrics of many of today’s most popular songs. The type of filth that just a few years ago could only be found in the seediest places we can now access with the devices in our pockets.

We are also immersed in the lie that we all deserve more and that the expression of our selfish and confused desires is just being authentic, and thus is virtuous. The world celebrates this as freedom. They praise the casting off of oppression at the same time as they are swallowed up by an avalanche of abuse and problems unleashed by it. 

It is foolish to glorify fallen selfish desires as natural, because God’s word condemns those who are merely natural. Uninhibited sexual expression is not freedom, it is slavery. It is the same kind of slavery that instinct imposes on unthinking animals. The message of the gospel is that we are not animals, but spiritual beings who were created for fellowship with God.

There are none who can stand before these commandments perfectly. On the basis of God’s moral law, we are all condemned because it shows that we have no righteousness of our own. To be blunt, if we were to get what we deserve, we would all end up in hell. But in an amazing act of grace and love, God provided a way for us to be rescued from that outcome.

He sent his son Jesus to come as one of us and to live perfectly under the law. That means he earned all of the blessings that come to one who is righteous. Then Jesus offered himself as a sacrifice for the sin of all those who would trust in him as their savior. That means he paid the penalty for sin under the law. He was condemned and put to death. Crucified on a cross where the just wrath of God against sin was poured out on him.

Jesus experienced the wrath of God on the cross so we would not experience it in hell. He died and was buried, but three days later he was raised from the dead by the power of God. This proves that God’s wrath against every sin that was placed on Christ was satisfied. Jesus paid it all. He paid for the sin and he purchased with his blood all the means that would lead to every believer being raised with him to glory. 

The Bible says he did this for everyone who would ever repent and put their faith in him. He did this for every adulterer who comes to him in faith. By faith, we are united to him and become one in a perfect marriage, a spiritual union where he paid our debts and his blessings are now ours. Ephesians 5:25–27 says,

25 …Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.  

Christ has set believers free from the penalty of sin and the condemnation of the law. We are no longer enslaved to sin because Jesus gave himself up to save us from sin. We are his bride, purchased by his blood.

Does that mean, as some falsely teach, that we are free to sin or that the moral law plays no role as a guide for us? Not at all. It means that where before we were enslaved to sin and did not have the power to grow in holiness, that is no longer the case because we now pursue it through the power of Christ.

Look carefully at what the scripture says about why Jesus gave himself up. It was not only to forgive sinners, but to make us holy. We are not loved because of our holiness, but we will be made holy because we are loved. We are not to ignore our sinful impulses as if they are no big deal. We are to take them immediately to the cross where they are put to death.

Jesus says there should be an urgency and an intensity to our repentance. Immediately after talking about adultery in the passage we looked at earlier, Jesus says this in Matthew 5:29–30,

29 If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body be thrown into hell. 30 And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body go into hell.

The Christian walk is not a casual stroll, it is spiritual warfare. There are some who teach we should just “let go, and let God”, that we wait passively for God’s grace to do its work. That is not taught in the Bible. 

The Bible teaches that having been made spiritually alive, we are to put to death sinful fleshly desires through the power of the spirit that has been given to us. The Bible teaches that we are to be active in putting on the new and putting off the old. We don’t do these things to earn favor with God, but because a heart made alive by his grace desires to be like Jesus.

There is nothing unspiritual about being wise in taking practical steps to protect ourselves from the influence of sin. When it comes to infidelity and lust there is wisdom in taking practical steps to guard ourselves. I will highlight just three for now.

First, don’t put yourself in situations you know will lead to temptation. It isn’t the same for everyone, but there are certain things you shouldn’t see and certain places you shouldn’t be. Why would you put yourself in a place that makes it more difficult to focus on Christ? 

It reminds me of the story of a little boy named Billy who used to climb up on the counter and steal cookies out of the cookie jar. His mother, realizing what he was doing, moved the cookies onto a high shelf in the pantry. One day, she noticed the pantry door was open and so she called out to him, “Billy, where are you”, to which Billy replied, “I am in the pantry.” So, she asked, “what are you doing in there?”, to which Billy replied, “I am resisting temptation.” Listen, the pantry isn’t the place to be if you are trying to resist temptation.

Stay away from the computer if you need to. Cancel cable if that is necessary. There is software you can set up to help keep you accountable if that is what you need. Don’t go places where you know you will be put in a situation that makes it harder for you to have pure thoughts.

Second, be careful about how you manage your relationships. Somewhere around 70% of women and 50% of men who have an affair report that it began with just a friendship. We often spend a lot of time with people from our jobs, our neighborhoods, or other shared activities. We have to be careful about what is appropriate in building those relationships. The more emotionally attached we get to someone the more our feelings for them will grow. It is a huge red flag if you are uncomfortable sharing with your spouse the full details of your relationship with others. 

Finally, if this is a struggle for you have someone who you trust and who you know loves you in Christ hold you accountable. Share your burdens with brothers and sisters who are committed to you and let them pray for you. Invite them to ask you specific questions. We need to get past the empty “how you doing?” stuff and get specific. I’m not saying you should get up here and tell everyone what you have going on, but each of us should have those we trust to help keep us honest. If you do not yet have those kinds of relationships in the church, please come see one of the pastors. 

The words of Jesus show us how seriously we should take sin. Of course, Jesus is not advocating we actually pluck out our eyes or cut off our hands. He is exaggerating to make the point that we cannot follow him and continue in sin. We cannot claim to have received the grace of salvation if we are comfortable continuing to live a life of rebellion.

We know that because it is Jesus who shows us that plucking out our eye or cutting off our hand would not make us holy because it is not the eye or the hand that is the source of the sin. What is required to overcome sin is that our sinful heart is removed and replaced with a heart filled with love for God. 

Praise God! That is exactly what Jesus offers to us. The practical steps will be useless if they are pursued as works designed to make us holy. They will be helpful, only if they are themselves steps that flow from a desire to find our satisfaction in Jesus.

Ultimately, infidelity in our relationships comes when we believe the lie that we will find more satisfaction outside of our relationship with our spouse. Likewise, faithlessness that leads to sin comes when we believe the lie that we will find more satisfaction in the world than in Christ. 

Therefore the solution to overcoming sin and living victoriously is not in trying harder to be holy, but in being so filled with the joy and satisfaction that comes from God that anything that would draw us away is no longer attractive. Everytime we trade a blessing of God for a sin, we end up with less, not more.

Have you seen those snickers commercials where the person is really hungry and crabby and then they eat a snickers and everything is better? Well, I have no doubt that if you are hungry, a snickers bar may seem satisfying, but the truth is you cannot live off of snickers bars and if you had just eaten an amazing steak, or whatever your most favorite food is, that snickers bar isn’t going to seem so satisfying.

We were created for God and it is in God that all our deepest desires are satisfied. There is freedom, peace, and joy in Jesus Christ. Remember our main point?

Our faithfulness is perfected in Christ. That includes our faithfulness to God as well as our faithfulness to one another.

If you are a believer struggling with sexual sin I want you to know there is forgiveness and healing available. I want you to know that the gospel has the power to free you from that cycle of defeat and shame and you can have victory and peace even now. 

If you are a believer who is living with guilt over past infidelity, or one who is hanging on to bitterness because of the unfaithfulness of another, I want you to know that you too can find peace in Christ. Through the blood of Jesus there is both forgiveness and the power to forgive. There is deliverance and there is peace. All these things are found in Jesus when we seek our satisfaction in him. 

I would like to finish this morning with the words of the apostle Paul from Colossians 3:1–4,

If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. 2 Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. 3 For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. 4 When Christ who is your life appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.  

men.