Sermon Text:

We have been working our way passage by passage through the book of 1 Peter. In this section of the letter, Peter is telling believers that, as citizens of the Kingdom of God, we should live holy and peaceable lives. We are not to be troublemakers or agitators but subject to those in authority. That brings us to a controversial and often misunderstood passage where he says believing wives are to be subject to their husbands.

Since that idea is jarring to modern ears and since it is so frequently mischaracterized and misunderstood, I plan to take two weeks to go through this passage. This week, I want to explore what Peter means by submitting to husbands and then with this in mind, examine the increasingly frequent claim that biblical teaching is oppressive to women. 

Then, Lord willing, next week I will preach through verses 1-7 as I usually do. Today will focus on the first few words, seeking to understand what Peter means when he says,

Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands

The word “likewise” connects these instructions to his earlier teaching about government and masters. Remember, in those cases Peter is calling for those who are free in Christ to voluntarily submit to earthly authorities as an aspect of their love and obedience to God. This command is given in the same way. He is addressing Christian women who are free in Christ and citizens of the kingdom of God and is telling them to entrust themselves to God’s faithfulness in their relationship with her husbands.

The social structure in view is marriage. This is an instruction for wives and not for women generally. Peter says wives are to be subject to their own husbands. This command is designed to function in an already intimate relationship intended as an illustration of the Gospel to the world. Speaking of marriage in Ephesians 5:31–33 the apostle Paul says,

31 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 32 This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. 33 However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.  

The institution of marriage is unique. Unlike government which God only instituted after the fall, or slavery which God never instituted, marriage was part of his original good creation. To be a believing wife or husband is to have a profound ministry. Each spouse has responsibilities to the other and to the family that nobody else can fulfill. Godly submission is part of God’s design for marriage as something bigger than just the relationship between two people.

What then does it mean for a wife to be subject to her husband? It may be easier to look at what it doesn’t mean first. There are 7 that I want to look at this morning. Submitting does not mean she is unequal to or less than her husband. 

A voluntary act of submission does not mean that the one who submits is unequal. This can be most clearly seen in Jesus. Jesus is God. He is equal to the Father in all his divine attributes and yet Jesus willingly submits as the divine Son to the Father in bringing about the plan of salvation. Jesus is not made any less than the Father by being voluntarily subject to him. In the same way wives are equal to their husbands and her submitting does not diminish her equal standing, dignity, or value. Just like Jesus, the submission Peter is talking about is concerning a role and not as a person.

That Bible clearly establishes the equality of men and women. One of the very first claims the Bible makes is that the dignity and value of both men and women established in that they are both created in the image of God. Genesis 1:27 says 

27  God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.  

It is difficult to imagine a more powerful statement of the equality of the sexes than that. So far as I am aware, it stands entirely alone and is utterly unique among any other ancient view of women. There is no higher dignity than to be made in the image of God. This means that women have the same inherent value as men and get it from the same source as men. The implications of that are powerful.

The Bible also presents women as equally forgiven, adopted, and heirs of God’s kingdom through faith in Jesus. Galatians 3:27–29 says, 

27 For as many of you as were baptized into Christ have put on Christ. 28 There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus. 29 And if you are Christ’s, then you are Abraham’s offspring, heirs according to promise.  

Paul doesn’t deny there are differences between men and women or that they have distinct God-given roles. That they do is made plain frequently. What he says is that women are equal participants in the grace of God and in the coming Kingdom. These are radical claims for the equality of women. Peter is equally clear about this and just a few verses later in verse 7 Peter reminds the husbands that their “wives are heirs with you of the grace of life.”

The Bible is clear and consistent that men and women are equal therefore, Peter’s command must be understood as consistent with the full expression of the wife’s equal personhood.

Submitting doesn’t mean she is a servant. That is not the way in which she is called to submit. Before sin entered the world, Eve was created as a wife for Adam to be his partner. Genesis 2:18 records,      

18 Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.”  

She isn’t a helper who simply takes orders like a servant, she is fit for him. She is matched with him. The Hebrew emphasizes that she is just like him, and they work together. The command to be fruitful, multiply, and fill the earth was given to them both.

Submitting does not mean she is treated like a child. In Exodus 20 God says honor your father and your mother. Both hold an elevated position, and both are owed respect and honor. A wife is a husband’s equal in honor; she is his partner. As we listen to the description of an excellent wife from Proverbs 31 it becomes quickly apparent that she is an active manager and partner to her husband.

 11  The heart of her husband trusts in her …

13  She seeks wool and flax, and works with willing hands. 14  She is like the ships of the merchant; she brings her food from afar. …

16  She considers a field and buys it; with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard. …

18  She perceives that her merchandise is profitable.   …

24  She makes linen garments and sells them; she delivers sashes to the merchant. …

27  She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. …

28  Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her…

Submitting does not mean agreeing with everything her husband thinks or says. The Bible never presents godly submission as agreeing with everything her husband thinks or says. This very passage proves that because the wives Peter is addressing are Christians and yet their husbands are not. It is difficult to imagine an area of disagreement that could be more important since our faith influences how we think of everything else. Peter is calling these wives to submit to their husbands as believers, showing there is no expectation she agrees with him on everything.

In 1 Samuel 25 Abigail was a blessing to her husband Nabal through her own independent thinking and initiative which saved his life and property. Queen Esther wisely and bravely interceded with her husband king Ahasuerus to change his mind, saving her people.

Submitting does not mean checking her brain or identity at the door. Godly submission is not acquiescence. A godly wife can and should raise objections and concerns as a partner to her husband. She should ask questions and be involved with the direction of the household. She should have her own interests and insights. A godly marriage is filled with fellowship and mutual seeking after God’s will as the husband and wife complement each other. Even in a marriage that is unequally yoked, the expectation is respect, not that the wife has no voice at all in the relationship.

We will look at what Peter says about holding her speech more closely next week, but the pattern in the Bible is the vital engagement of women in the pursuit of their calling. The disciples of Jesus included many women, some of whom we know were married.      Luke 8:1–3 says,

Soon afterward he went on through cities and villages, proclaiming and bringing the good news of the kingdom of God. And the twelve were with him, 2 and also some women who had been healed of evil spirits and infirmities: Mary, called Magdalene, from whom seven demons had gone out, 3 and Joanna, the wife of Chuza, Herod’s household manager, and Susanna, and many others, who provided for them out of their means.  

Jesus encouraged women to learn and to think. In Luke 10 he tells Martha that her sister Mary is doing the right thing by choosing to study rather than housework. The apostle John even addressed his second letter to a prominent woman in the church.

We don’t know for sure how many were married, but several women were prominent in the early church. Women were in the room praying when the Spirit came at Pentecost. Tabitha was said to be full of good works, John’s mother Mary hosted meetings, Lydia and Chloe were well-known. Apollos was a powerful preacher but both Aquila and Priscillia took him aside and corrected his doctrine. Paul mentions many women in Romans 16. He recognizres Phoebe as a deaconess and listen to how he thought about the women with him Philippians 4:2–3,

2 I entreat Euodia and I entreat Syntyche to agree in the Lord. 3 Yes, I ask you also, true companion, help these women, who have labored side by side with me in the gospel together with Clement and the rest of my fellow workers, whose names are in the book of life. 

Most powerfully though is that God brought the savior into the world not through a husband, but through a wife and mother. It is women who deliver new life into the world and the one who would bring eternal life was born of woman.

Submitting doesn’t mean putting her husband before Jesus. Peter says believing wives are to be subject to their husbands, even if those husbands are not following the word. He does not, however, say they are to follow their unbelieving husbands into sin. Just as we do not let the government or our bosses or anyone else lead us into rebellion against God, neither should wives allow their husbands to do that. There are times when two commands of God seem to be at tension with one another. Believing wives are commanded to be holy and to follow Christ. They are also commanded to be subject to their husbands. If the two conflict, she is to follow Jesus.

The command to submit to the husband is secondary to the command to submit to God. This is clear when we compare the reasons for each of them. God is the reason for the command to submit to himself and to submit to the husband. The husband, however, is not the basis for either. This means that appropriate submission to the husband will always flow from faithfulness to God but if we reverse the order, it is not the case that both commands will be fulfilled. That shows us that Wifely submission is not a mechanical duty, it is an aspect of godly submission to God. 

A husband is responsible for his own sin and although she is not to disrespect him, neither should she follow him in sinning. In Acts chapter 5 a man named Annanias sold property and lied about how much of the money he donated to the church. His wife Saphira knew this was his plan. When he lied God took his life in judgment. Acts 5:7–10 records what happened next,

7 After an interval of about three hours his wife came in, not knowing what had happened. 8 And Peter said to her, “Tell me whether you sold the land for so much.” And she said, “Yes, for so much.” 9 But Peter said to her, “How is it that you have agreed together to test the Spirit of the Lord? Behold, the feet of those who have buried your husband are at the door, and they will carry you out.” 10 Immediately she fell down at his feet and breathed her last. 

She is judged for submitting to her husband's sinful plan in defiance of God. All believers are called to always put God first in every situation.

Finally, submitting does not mean accepting neglect or abuse. Abuse is always condemned in the Bible. To use a holy covenant like marriage for sinful purposes is the height of darkness and violates the entire spirit of the teaching of the Bible. Do not be deceived, God will not be mocked. No person, and certainly no pastor should ever tell an abuse victim that it is God’s will for them to remain in an abusive situation.

God’s Law provided protections to ensure wives basic needs were met within a marriage. For example, Exodus 21:10 says,  

10 If he takes another wife to himself, he shall not diminish her food, her clothing, or her marital rights.  

The context of the submission passages assumes there is a marriage relationship in place. 1 Timothy chapter 5 makes it clear that one who neglects and by implication abuses their family is worse than an unbeliever. We don’t have to get into detail this morning, but I believe abuse is an extreme form of spousal abandonment.

We must take a clear and solid stand for the sanctity of marriage. We must take an equally clear stand that since marriage is holy, we will not allow abusers to manipulate the church into becoming agents of further sin and abuse. Godly submission does not mean accepting abuse. 

We have looked at several things that Peter does not mean when he says a wife is to be subject to her husband. 

1. It doesn’t mean she is unequal to or less than her husband. 
2. It doesn’t mean she is a servant.
3. It doesn’t mean she is treated like a child.
4. It doesn’t mean agreeing with everything her husband thinks or says.
5. It doesn’t mean checking her brain or identity at the door.
6. It doesn’t mean putting her husband before Jesus.
7. It doesn’t mean accepting neglect or abuse.

These are what it doesn’t mean. To understand what it does mean we must begin with the recognition that submission is an aspect of every Christian life. The Bible says we are to submit to God. We are to submit to the teaching of the apostles, to the pastors of the church, to the government, and to those who direct our work. In Ephesians 5:21 all believers are told to submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

When we hear that believing wives are to be subject to their own husbands, that just means that they are to live as believers, imitating Jesus within the roles God has established for marriage. We all have God-given roles at work, in the community, at church and in the family.

I recently met two brothers who worked in a small family business together. One of the brothers was the president of the company and the other worked in the warehouse. Each of them owned 50% of the company. They were equal partners, but they had different roles and one submitted to the leadership of the other. That is the kind of picture we have.

God is the one who created marriage and the family and can set it up how he chooses and God has appointed the husband as the head of the household. It is ultimately the husband that God holds accountable for how the family is managed and functions. The wife is called to help him and voluntarily yields to him in those matters recognizing he is the one who will give an account.

Believer or not, the husband must answer for his household. In our passage, Peter is saying even if the husbands are not believers, wives are to trust God and live in fulfillment of their calling as wives. To do her part not because her husband is worthy, but because Jesus is. We are all called to be faithful in the roles God has given us. We must be careful to not judge based on what the world values for God will reward his servants appropriately.

As with many things, God turns the wisdom of the world upside down. Godly submission turns out to be an expression of freedom. The strife and struggle between the sexes is the result of sin. Sin brought several destructive consequences and impulses that enslaved us to them. One of those was strife in our roles as husbands and wives.

We see this in Genesis 3:16 and the NET translation makes the meaning even more clear.

3:16 To the woman he said, “I will greatly increase your labor pains; with pain you will give birth to children. You will want to control your husband, but he will dominate you.”

The man and woman were created for loving partnership but because of sin they would each struggle to assert themselves over the other. The woman would no longer be fulfilled in her role as a helpmeet and the man would be drawn to abuse his headship. In both, a sacrificial love of God and each other had been displaced with a love for self.

We are all born with this selfishness and sin. Since this sinful heart is part of us, we have no power to change it because anything we do will be tainted by sin. The result is that we have all lived lives of rebellion against God and there will come a time when we will be judged by him according to righteousness. If we are judged based on our lives, we will all be condemned to eternal separation from God and his restored creation. The Bible calls this hell.

But in his mercy, God made salvation possible through his son Jesus. Jesus was fully God, come down from heaven, yet fully human, born of a woman. Being one of us, he could serve as another Adam, another representative of humanity. Being divine, he could pay the full price for the sins of mankind. He lived a perfect life and then was killed. He was offered up as a sacrifice for the sins of all who would repent and believe in him as their only righteousness.

He died in our place, but then three days later, he rose from the dead. This proved that the price was paid. Sin and death had been defeated. That means that all who put their faith in him are now free from the curse of sin. We are new creations, with a new heart. We are no longer enslaved to the selfish desires that once enslaved us.

Godly submission is an aspect of God restoring creation. It is an act of freedom. A believing husband putting his wife’s interests ahead of his and a believing wife submitting to his leadership is to live now in the reality that the curse has been broken. It is to live as those already participating in the kingdom, trusting God for its final consummation.

There are many today who find this offensive and outdated. Some play interpretive games so they can deny what God says about submission. Others openly reject the Bible altogether. Those who only see through the eyes of the flesh cannot understand how submission is freedom or weakness is power. They tell us we must throw off the shackles of distinct gender roles, that we are in a fierce battle for the liberation of women. They say biblical teaching is oppressive to women and the new freedoms they have gained through the sexual revolution.

As believers, we must agree that all people are equally valuable, have inherent dignity, and that we must especially protect the marginalized, weak, poor, and vulnerable. We agree we have a responsibility to oppose oppression and injustice. We agree some things are right and some are wrong, and we should work to change the things that are wrong. But where do these values come from?

They are foreign to the Greek, Roman, and eastern cultures that predated the spread of Christianity. The Bible doesn’t oppose those values, it is the foundation for them. Ironically, progressivism and radical feminism are themselves dependent on them. These core values come from the Bible and cannot long survive in a culture that rejects it. In trying to go beyond scripture, they are cutting off the branch they are sitting on.

Scholar Paul Achtemeier summarized the prevalent view in Roman society at the time Peter was writing. He says,

“Dominant among the elite was the notion that the woman was by nature inferior to the man. Because she lacked the capacity for reason that the male had, she was ruled rather by her emotions, and was as a result given to poor judgment, immorality, intemperance, wickedness, avarice; she was untrustworthy, contentious, and as a result, it was her place to obey.”  

Submission in Greco-Roman society was not voluntary or functional. The idea that marriage should be consensual or that women could make their own decisions was considered laughable. The Greek philosopher Plutarch, who was alive when 1 Peter was written said,

“A wife should not acquire her own friends but should make her husband’s friends her own. The gods are the first and most significant friends. For this reason, it is proper for a wife to recognize only those gods whom her husband worships and to shut the door to superstitious cults and strange superstitions.”

Peter says be yourself but be respectful. Plutarch says don’t think for yourself. Do you see the difference? Far from oppressive, the Bible has by far been the most important force for the advancement of women in history. The Bible resoundingly exalts women above cultures that distort, degrade, and debase them. Classical scholar Tom Holland, who is not a Christian, says this about the impact of biblical teaching on sexual relations in the Roman empire,

“It was not just Venus who had been banished. So too had the gods feted for their rapes. A sexual order rooted in the assumption that any man in a position of power had the right to exploit his inferiors, to use the orifices of a slave or a prostitute to relieve his needs much as he might use a urinal, had been ended. Paul’s insistence that the body of every human being was a holy vessel had triumphed. Instincts taken for granted by the Romans had been recast as sin.”

Sinful cultures do not easily change and remnants of pagan views about women remained influential, even in the history of the church and it is good when those sinful traditions are overcome. The true liberation of women has come from the light of the gospel not despite it. Christian influence has elevated the status of women to an unprecedented height.

To see this is true just compare the treatment of women today in countries whose laws and cultures have been shaped by Christianity with those shaped by other worldviews. Are women better off or have better access to education and opportunities in Buddhist, Hindu, or Islamic cultures?

Young women in Afghanistan are being arrested or killed for learning to read. In Saudi Arabia women can be arrested for speaking to an unrelated man in public. UNICEF estimates that at least 200 million girls in 31 countries, including Indonesia, Iraq, Yemen, Egypt and 26 other African countries have been subjected to some form of female genital mutilation. The fact is the chains of female oppression are heaviest where the light of the Gospel has been dimmest.

We must acknowledge that in many ways women in the west are better off now than in the past but it is also important we recognize that traditionalism is not the same as being biblical. Many of the key freedoms secularism claims for women have only recently become available to most men as well. The barriers to these freedoms, however, were generally cultural not biblical.

It is easy to see the sin in progressive ideology, but there is plenty to be found in traditional ideology as well. We do not defend every traditional viewpoint. We acknowledge that there have been and still are areas where society wrongly denies women the honor for which God has created them.

But where the Bible speaks, we speak and unashamedly declare that godly submission of wives, when properly understood, will result in the greatest blessings both for wives and for society. Radical ideologies whose aim is the deconstruction of any role distinctions between men and women do not ultimately elevate the dignity and status of women. Instead, they focus on superficial symbols while denying women the unique glory and honor God created for them to have.

Women face more exploitation and abuse today than at any other point in history.  Violence against women is increasing. Women are being trafficked in staggering numbers. We have unleashed an unprecedented tsunami of images and messages that objectify and degrade women. We are awash in pornography. Even mainstream advertisement and entertainment is overwhelmed with indecency. Is this empowering for women? Does this create a culture of honor for women among men? No, it is of the flesh and will inevitably lead to more oppression and violence because sin enslaves and only the truth can set us free.

Championing uncommitted sex, the murder of unborn children, and the destruction of families doesn’t leave women uplifted, it leaves them to manage the emotional and psychological aftermath. Their solution to that is not healing, but the searing of our consciouses so that we are no longer sensitive to sin. This is evil.

The Bible is not oppressive to women. The call for a Christian wife to submit to her husband does not reduce her in any way. Rather, it redirects our attention from the wisdom of this world to the eternal and incorruptible promise of God to his beloved daughters that by faith they will be with Christ in glory. The question is “do we have the faith to trust God’s word?” Those who do will not be disappointed.